Kentucky

Here I sit in the waiting room of the St. Joseph's Hospital in Lexington, KY. In the last couple days we've spent a lot of time here. Visiting hours for my brother are limited and with at least five of us ready to run back there at each interval it gets rather hectic. Emotions are raw! We're on edge. Seeing him in this condition would drive anyone to the extreme. His eyes are open sometimes but there's no one there. He moves his arms but they're tied down to prevent pulling out the various tubes attached to his body. Last night his legs were moving a lot. His daughter said he was squeezing her hand last night. We're all thinking that he's responding to things that he probably really isn't but it's wishful thinking on our part. I've seen his head move from side to side but I can practically stick my finger in his eye and he doesn't close them. Me doesn't squeeze my hand when I ask him to. He doesn't shake or nod his head in answer to a question. They are just random movements even though we want them to be more. God, we want them to be more. The tubes won't come out while we are here. His wife decided she isn't ready yet so of course it is her decision to make. I'm finding out more about the night it all happened. He grabbed his head and screamed in pain and when she pried his hands away 45 minutes later his lips were blue. Why did it take 45 minutes? I don't know and I'm not asking. The damage is done. We're headed home Sunday......I'll say my goodbyes silently and hope there is still a miracle to come. Spending time with my older brother hasn't even been comforting. The highlight of the trip has been my time with my niece and my nephews and seeing her meet her half brothers for the first time. I'm so hoping that they can have a relationship beyond the sins of the parents that have kept them apart for all these years.